On occasion, I wake up around 3:00 or 3:30 am with a bad case of "The Worries". My mind starts spinning with all of the things that are going on in my life that stress me out, make me feel ashamed or guilty, and I hash them and rehash them until my mind feels like it is going to explode.
I hate "The Worries'.
I know they are unproductive. I know that at 3:00 am, there is not a darn thing I can do about them. I know that my fears are not real. I know that I am ok, but at 3:00 am, I DO NOT FEEL OK. I feel very much NOT OK.
Monday morning, I had "The Worries". I suffered through them, cried a little, fretted a lot and finally fell back asleep at 5:00 am. Monday I felt like crying all day, total emotional hangover.
Then I had a realization, I am coming down with a little cold. My throat is a little scratchy and dry, I am congested and I have a little cough. Whenever my body is fighting an illness, I become overly emotional. I am an extremely FEELING person. So, when I am physically sick, I become emotional, when I am emotionally sick, I become physically sick. This is just how I was made and it is one of my challenges that I have come to know and accept about myself.
Given this "new" piece of information, I made a plan. If I woke up with The Worries on Tuesday, I would take some of my own advice, that says the best way to overcome a negative mind is to turn it into a blessing mind. (Yes, I totally stole this from Sylvia Boorstein, I am telling you, I love this woman).
So, Tuesday morning 3:30 am, my eyes pop open. The Worries begin. I got up, sat on the edge of my bed and began my blessing.
"Tonight, may I feel safe. May I feel strong. May I feel content. May I live my life with ease."
Then I thought of my mom, and I blessed her in the same way. I thought of my children and blessed them. I thought of my sisters, my nieces and nephews, my friends, my love, and several people who challenge me. And I blessed them all.
While I was blessing, I was amazed by how many people I know and care about and my blessing list became longer. I was blessing one person and more and more names kept coming to mind. I became so thankful for this amazing life that I have. That there are so many people that I want to be blessed, that I want to know I care for them and I know, they too, care for me.
My eyes became heavy and my heart became lighter. I laid my head down on the pillow and I remember nothing else.
May you feel safe, may you feel strong, may you feel content and may you live your life with ease.
Blessings,
Gabbi
2 comments:
I woke with a case of "The Worries" last week, it was Tuesday 11/15 I believe. At first my worries were house related (old vs. new) and all the items that were left behind and still needed to be retreived, and then all the other items that are lost in the cracks or broken, and then the others that are still boxed up and need unpacking. Then my worries shifted to my children and our parenting. Are they loved enough, are they warm enough sleeping at night, am I brushing their teeth enough, do they feel secure, etc. Then I began fretting over finances (or lack thereof) and then my relationship with Darrell. Finally around 5am I was able to calm myself and fall back asleep. How interesting the universe sent you into the same frenzy about a week later. I'm so happy you shared your blessings plan. Now I can try that and be prepared with armor should it happen again. Love you my dear friend and thank you for blessing me. You are a blessing to me in my life.
Beautiful put, I like your way better than mine, I was told to make a worry list that way I can look at it, and not have to think real hard for the next thing to worry about. I will use your way from now on. Thank you
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