Expectations VS. Reality: Christmas Edition

Sampson spent Christmas Eve with his dad, I went to pick him up in the evening with the following expectations:

Upon arriving home, Sampson would take a nice bath, hop out of the tub, he and Grace would open their Christmas Eve gift (which is always pajamas), we would snuggle up read Twas the Night Before Christmas, as we always do, and then cuddle, eat popcorn and watch Christmas movies. Once the kids fell asleep, I would sneak away, wrap the last few gifts and neatly stack the gifts under the tree, I could then crawl in bed and slumber sweetly until my children awoke with cheers of joy that Christmas was here!

Ahhh. The joy and peace of it all.

Reality:

I picked Sam up from his dads (a nice 2.5 hour journey roundtrip), he fell asleep on the car ride home, woke up an evil little bugger. Screamed that he hated Grace and I and ever since he was born he never wanted to live with us, he only wanted to live with his dad. to which I replied "Hey Smartie, your dad lived with US when you were born." Sam's confused look look let me know he had zero recollection of that, and then he screamed "I HATE YOU ANYWAYS."

There was no bath, just screaming and tantrum throwing while Grace and I scarfed down dinner. Grace said "Why does he have to be like that everytime he gets back from his dads?" Which then began the whole conversation of how going from one parents home to the other is hard, Sam is conflicted about wanting to be with BOTH of his parents, and generally just adding to the misery of the evening layered on top of the backdrop of Sam screaming in the living room.

I forced monster child into bed, where he prompltly cuddled in my lap, and said he loved me more than the number of fingers on his hands, and fell asleep in all of his dirty clothes glory....right after I fell asleep.

SHIT!

I woke up to Sam asking me if Santa came, to which I had no answer because I fell asleep before him and knew I hadn't put any gifts under the tree.

SHIT!

Thank god for Miss Grace who I heard shuffling about downstairs and had placed all the gifts under the tree seconds before Sam came downstairs. I LOVE THAT GIRL!

I quickly wrapped the remainder of Grace's gifts...ok, all of Graces gifts, plunked them under the tree and we got to opening!

The kids were joyful and happy and loved their gifts.

I remind myself regularly, that expectations can ruin the true beauty of the moment as it unfolds. If I hold to tightly to my expectations, I miss the wonder of the moment. I rob myself of the true experience of life.

That evening we had the entire family over played games, ate lasagna and talked and laughed. My small house was busting at the seams in a very, very good way.

The energy from my amazing family is strong, lively and perfect. We are so blessed to have so many young adults, babies and wise elders.

It was a rocky start; didn't exactly fit my expectation, but was perfect just as it was.

Fitting myself to the moment,

Gabbi