Honey Badger Don't Care, and other inappropriate things...

Random snippets of conversation from around my house:

The Honey Badger:

Grace, while watching the trailer for the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie: "OH MY GAWD! They just said "Honeybadger don't care, on ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY SWEAR WORDS ARE IN THAT CLIP??? Oh my Gawd, CHILDREN could watch that!! That is SOO irresponsible. I am disgusted by them."

Let's not consider the fact, that my daughter is a child of 13 herself, the fact that she knows the HoneyBadger clip by heart, and the fact that we say "HoneyBadger don't care" ALL THE TIME around her 4 year old brother, and she takes no issue with that. And that I am pretending she has never secretly shown her 4 year old brother the clip.

For those of you not in the know, It is HONEYBADGER TIME!

(side note: I recommend watching it at least twice to really get the humor)

Evening with My Mother:

I have a minor addiction to nail polish, I love to paint my nails, paint other people's nails, buy new nail polishes and I have some pretty Not Your Mama's colors in my collection. Unless, I am your Mama, in which case...they are your Mama's colors and get out of my nail bin.

So, I bought two beautiful new shades:

Ingrid Below Deck

See? Aren't they lovely?? Ingrid is a kind of Mocha color with a little bit of glitter and Below Deck is just bad ass, I LOVE THEM. Ingrid and Below Deck are my new friends.

I show my mom, and I say

Me: "Hey, want me to paint your nails?"

My mom, while holding her glasses up to her eyes squinting at Ingrid: "Is this BROWN?"

Me: "Ummm, no...(trying not to be appalled) it's MOCHA with a little bit of sparkle."

My mom: "Does it look like poop? I can't tell, my eyes aren't that good."

Me: "WHAT?!?! UGH, well clearly I purchased this lovely shade of MOCHA for its uncanny resemblance to poop." Note the THICK layer of sarcasm.

My mom: "Fine, paint my nails then everyone will think I have poop on my fingernails."

ME, totally disgusted: "Shut up, you can choose the other color you know."

My Mom: "Nope, poop nail it is." While she wiggles her fingers at me tauntingly.

I shouldn't have even painted that witches nails, but I did because I can't stand naked nails. She knows my weakness.

Nail Goddess,

Gabbi